It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
