I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
