About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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