GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
