Swine flu. Run for my life!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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