Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
