I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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