If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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