I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize