I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
