Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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