chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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