Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
should my penis look like a turkey
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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