We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
