She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
