I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
