I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
