You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
