Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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