we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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