he puts the penis in happiness.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
