she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
