i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
