If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
