I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
