Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
