she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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