it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
