so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
