O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
