Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
kristin has been a bad kristin
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
