the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
