Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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