hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I intend to get homeless drunk
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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