Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
