just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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