whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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