A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
