i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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