When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
