Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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