I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
