ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Randomize
