We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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