I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
