id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
