I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
