No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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