Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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