A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
