come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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