in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
