addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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