Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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