Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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