So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
