Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
